Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing and Cross Posting Toward the Goal

Oh sure.  Going for the Post a Day challenge is – not easy – but attainable when you feel good.  Throw in the kind of bug you can only get from someone’s child throwing up on you, and you might as well kiss an original thought good bye.  Heck, kiss any thought goodbye.  Post?  Can’t I just call in sick?

Can I get a show of hands? How many of you would like to call in sick to your life?

I’ve already marked the front door with a big black X to signify the plague lives here.

Despite my hard work to have a weeks worth of posts in reserve, I’m barely making the daily deadline.   Yes. This is Jane feeling sorry for self, and sharing the misery. Hang on, I’m getting notification from a brain cell, it wants me to know something or other.

Listening…

Thanks brain cell!  (Note to self: send brain get well card.  That was nice.)

A trouble shared, is a trouble halved.

Oh.  I’m being generous and sharing!  That’s what I’m doing today.  (Aren’t you lucky.) Who knew?

There are two posts by other bloggers I’d like to share.  One is thoughtful and horse related.  The other is simply hilarious.  Hilarity is Vitamin C to a cold.

Thoughtful approach to horses, courtesy of Bille at Camera Obscura:

very wise words for living and working with horses

Progress in very small increments. Make smart choices in the sequence of exercises. Never ambush your horse. Never skip a step. First establish trust.

-Faverot de Kerbrech

I read this quote this morning on Thomas Ritter’s Facebook page and immediately copied it to print and put in the tack room on my bulletin board.

I absolutely love the line “Never ambush your horse.”  I think much of what we do to horses in the name of training them and dominating them could easily be considered ambush – not so much the what we do but the HOW we go about doing it.

Hurry, read the rest before you get to the barn!

Hilarity below, to build cold resistance, from Listful Thinking:

A Series of Lists Attempting to Explain Why I’m No Longer Allowed In Certain Vietnamese Restaurants

This is probably the most convoluted thing I’ve ever had to explain with lists before.

Category F5 tornado (upgraded from initial est...An F5 tornado– no match for Derek’s teeth. 

When I told one of my coworkers in high school that I was sitting next to some mysterious kid named Derek in physics, he leaned over and whispered, “You know Derek’s a quadruple black belt in Taekwondo, right? I’ve heard he plucked a kid’s eyeball right out of its socket.” This was terrible news, as I am no good at physics and have surprisingly large eyeballs. Worried that I would frustrate him to the point of violence, I began asking all of my fellow high school-aged co-workers what they knew about my new physics partner.

Read more more more.

It’s going to be an interesting week!  Who know what will be here tomorrow.

I certainly don’t.  Could be cake.  Could be a photo of the sofa.  Could be…

Nurture Your Inner Evil Genius

I’d say “off topic”, but we all know all topics are “on” here.

Thanks to Listful Thinking, and our fantastically creative readers who played on Saturday, we learned many things from eHow:

How to prepare for WWIII, defend against zombies, and, for the budget conscious, become Evil on less than $50 a day:

Evil on a Budget

Once your budget is settled try:

Projects for the Evil Genius

Evil genius is attainable.  Be sure to keep this info away from your horses.

My (former) Mafia Boss catch ride, Jumbo, unexpectedly turned up at Daisy’s barn, where he is now boarding.  Once again, he is successfully terrorizing the populace.  While Jumbo was handed a barn pink slip a month ago, his owner has yet to find any place that will take him.  In the spirit of deconstructing Evil Genius, I interviewed him for TLH.

Jane: (trying for casual, and lying like crazy) Hey, Jumbo, I didn’t know you were here! How’s it going?

Continue reading “Nurture Your Inner Evil Genius”

Play Date!

Saturday fun: go to Listful Thinking, and read How to use eHow to Turn Yourself into a Comedic Force to be Reckoned With.  You have to admire a blogger who, in difficult situations, asks herself: “What Would Sid Vicious Do?”

I had no idea eHow could be so incredibly entertaining.  I howled with laughter, thinking she was making this stuff up.  But I clicked the links.  Totally there.

You can type in “How to Look Like Pamela Anderson” and le voila.

I got so excited about the possibilities that my brain exploded, and I couldn’t think of a single thing I wanted to know how to do, when of course, I want to know how to do everything.

I mumble to self:  just start typing…that’s right…how…to…

Whoa.  This thing has autocomplete.   I scan the autocomplete list for how-to-something interesting. Right at the top:

How To Get Pregnant: Access Step by Step Instructions!

Really?  We need step by step instructions? “Access” is not a word you would use in a sentence to teach a child about pregnancy.  This is aimed at adults.  Since my brain is still on Egg Nog and Holiday Light Removal, I free associate:

How to Have a Virgin Birth

Scanning…scanning…Virgin MargaritasHome BirthSkit Ideas… (?)  Call me crazy, but I can’t imagine a virgin birth skit being a top priority on summer camp Talent Night. Still scanning….Bingo.

Virgin. Birth.

Granted, you have to be a shark, which is a tad scary when you contemplate the only other known virgin birth.  On the other hand, it might resolve the whole Darwin/Creation debate.  The virgin birth coinciding with fishies climbing out of the water?

Go Play.

Life’s pressing questions have answers that await:

  • How to keep your mother in law at a safe distance
  • How to buy your first Yacht
  • How to lie well
  • How to determine your chances of becoming a billionaire
  • How to stop eating cake
  • How to train a fish
  • How to whistle for a taxi with two fingers
  • How to make friends with a horse

We know that one, but it’s nice to know it’s out there for the general public.

So.  What did you ask?! I’m dying to know!  Favorite answer?

(Head’s up: family blog.)