The Rolling Stones…? Suits…? Can I be hallucinating?
Last Monday, I got wacked on the head. This turned out to be quite useful. Not in a concussion-y sort of way (That part sucks), but in an: “I know! Blogging with a concussion is a GREAT idea!” sort of way.
After declaring the ER doc incompetent (TWO WEEKS recovery? Is she nuts? I’ll be fine in a couple of days), I set about dealing. I lay there in the dark: no reading, no sound, no TV. Nothing but me and my internal horseman’s alarm clock, which says I can recover from anything in 24 hours.
I do everything the doc says for the entire 24 hours.
Then I wobble out of bed, fling the curtains open, and..fall over, from the searing, blinding brightness of a blackened, rainy sky at 6 am. Luckily, the bed hasn’t moved. Shaun flings the curtains shut, shoves me under the covers and says, “Do NOT make me sit on you.”
I hit the snooze button on the “I’m Over It” clock. Doctors can be right? Who knew?
The reason I have a concussion isn’t all that important. You know the drill: there was a horse nearby. The ground tilted up, ambushing me. A pipe corral panel leapt in and whacked me on the noggin. I was not wearing a helmet, since I was not ON the horse. Strictly a ground-attacking me with a pipe sort of thing.
The good news: with friendly encouragement (you know who you are…Thank Youuuuu) and complete willingness to totally suck at blogging, here I am.
Bonus: I get to see my brain on a concussion is pretty much the same as my brain off a concussion. (Minus the nausea.) Good to know. I’ve had some episodes of misreading stuff. Before I got bonked.
Driving home from work, pre-concussion, I passed a dilapidated barn with a giant sign:
BRAIN SALE, Saturday 9-3. EVERYTHING MUST GO.
Brain sale? Whoa. Creepy barn. Because I’m picturing this:
Another day, I stopped for coffee, and read bulletin board flyers while waiting in line. This one caught my attention:
Local ATHEIST COMPETITION! Are you Atheist? Come join us in friendly competition. Many sections! All levels welcome! FREE!!
This is my non-concussed thought process:
- Atheists compete…?
- There are levels and classes of atheists? Who knew?
- What does an atheist competing look like? HOW do they compete…and why does this flyer make it sound fun and community oriented?
We had a time of high anxiety a few months ago. Christmas was sick. We had to leave him at the vet for testing and observation. Finally our vet called back:
“I’m afraid your dog tested positive for pancakes. We’re starting him on IV fluids right away”
(Christmas is fine, no need to worry. Or send syrup.)
Then, post-concussion, I read this sentence in my blog spam:
“Remember, before going into the castle, you must knit every Zombie, or you will die.”
Uh. A video game in which you knit zombies…? Huh. Knitted zombies. Could be cute?
Today, there was a news-ish post in my Facebook feed, with this headline:
“Cinderella over time: tracking the glass spider through the centuries.”
Much slower than I like to admit, I got some traction:
I’m sure by now all of you have figured out I passed a barn sale, saw a flyer for an athletic competition, our dog had pancreatitis, one tends to knife zombies in a video game, and Cinderella didn’t have spider issues. (That would be Miss Muppet.)
Forget the status, I just need traction. I better get over to the brain sale.
Anyone else want to come? We can listen to Bob Marley on the way over. I like a rousing human rights song about food shortage.
Who knows all the words to Stand Up For Your Rice?