How I Know I’m Recovering

  • I called my mommy.
  • I didn’t ask her to come take care of me.
  • I had to work to not ask an 83-year-old woman to drive 2 hours in a storm to tell me I would be fine.
  • I went bowling for Zombies.
  • My doctor told me I’m better. She said I should be able to breathe again in 7 to 10 days.
  • I can walk more than 8 feet.
  • I’m wondering if these pajamas make me look fat. I didn’t care 4 days ago.
  • I can be ten feet from the cough syrup without having an anxiety attack.
  • I can focus on the TV screen, even if the plot eludes me.
  • Yes, SpongeBob has plots.
  • I ran out of wheat thins.
  • When I’m better, I’ll tell you how that got me a free hotdog.
  • And caused a massive shopping cart pile up.
  • And turned two sane strangers into WWE style wrestlers, fighting above my prone body.

I wish I could say that is delirium talking, but it was just another day in my ridiculous life.


3 thoughts on “How I Know I’m Recovering

  1. Glad you’re feeling somewhat better… Now please hurry up and get all the way better because this sounds like a hilarious story! (Please remind me not to drink anything hot while reading it).

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