Neither of us has any shame…hopefully our combined stories will entice you to drop any remaining shred of dignity!
Remember the scene in The Black Stallion where Alex takes his first ride on the stallion on the beach? And they galloped along in perfect harmony? Well, my best dismount was like that.
Without the harmony.
And with a bay gelding instead of a black stallion. And in an arena instead of on the beach. So really, the fall was NOTHING like that scene, except for the bareback part.
Me and my friend Holly were feeling exceptionally silly one night. I decided I was going to get on my 17.3 horse (Bing) bareback, using an English hackamore (which I had never tried on him).
Holly gave me a leg up. I kicked. Nothing happened. I could feel Bing thinking “Can’t …Move…don’t understand how this bridle/nose thingy works.” I look at Holly. I know how to fix this.
“Holly, just unbuckle the noseband so there is no pressure.” (Not that there was much pressure to begin with.)
So off we go…trot, trot, trot, and FLIP! Noseband flips over his head behind his ears. Here is where The Black Stallion scene begins. No steering. No brakes. Bareback. And he BOLTS. Did I mention Bing was 17.3?
With my ongoing need to be funny, somehow I manage to scream “Emergency Dismount!”. And I did. On my face. I slid face first into the dirt, like sliding into home base, only forward and face down. Possibly with my mouth open.
There was not one tooth that didn’t need to be flossed several times to remove all the dirt. There was dirt in my ears. At the time I wore glasses – they were so encrusted with dirt I couldn’t even see through them.
At first I thought I had really hurt my arm – but Holly and I were laughing so hard I couldn’t even get the words OUT to tell her how bad my arm hurt. And standing in the corner was Bing…looking down at me…COMPLETELY confused as to what awful thing he had done to be subjected to such a stupid activity.